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Why do pregnant women think it's nice to wear tight dresses?
Can't beat a nice smock!!!!

who are they?

The reality show made its debut on its new
channel, Five – and in the process plumbed new
depths
Cynics predicted that reality behemoth Big
Brother’ s move to Richard Desmond’ s Five
would drag it even further downmarket. Judging
by tonight’ s live launch show, those cynics were
absolutely correct. If anything, they
underestimated how much further downmarket.
“Celebrity” reality shows often stretch the
word ’s definition to breaking point but this
batch may finally have snapped it . Rumours of
famous names had been rife in the build- up,
often disseminated by Desmond’ s own tabloids.
None came to fruition. The barrel- scraping cast
of ten contestants had a definite whiff of last
minute pull-outs and parachuted- in reserves.
The majority are notable only for who they
married or for taking part in other reality shows .
It was hardly a meeting of minds either, with
half the housemates irredeemably thick. The
show’ s usual pre -entry psychological evaluation
has presumably been waived too - especially for
fragile Kerry Katona and faded Hollywood
starlet Tara Reid, who seemed so spaced out,
she could barely open the door to the gaudily-
revamped house.
That pair were joined by Pamela Bach -
Hasselhoff (cackling irritant and ex- wife of David
Hasselhoff) , Sally Bercow (publicity - seeking
irritant and current wife of House Of Common
speaker John) and Amy Childs – the dead -eyed
charisma vacuum from The Only Way Is Essex,
whose sole selling point seems to be that she’s
cheaper to hire than Jordan.
The males were even weaker: incomprehensible
bare- knuckle fighter Paddy Doherty from My
Big Fat Gypsy Wedding; peacock- haired “Mr
Paparazzi” Darren Lyons; male model Bobby
Sabel; and soap actor Lucian Laviscount. Even
hardened celebrity- spotters would struggle to
recognise the latter two.
It’ s coming to something when John and Edward
Grimes - aka Jedward, the tuneless Irish twins
who shot to infamy on The X Factor – are the
most famous men in the house. The pair
apparently have a clause in their contract to
exempt them from any task that might involve
cutting their trademark vertiginous quiffs.
The lawyer drafting that one must be proud his
years of study had come to this. Still, after
failing to triumph in either The X Factor or this
year ’s Eurovision , this might just be the first
competition they win.
There were a few saving graces. The production
values seemed solid enough . Geordie voiceover
man Marcus Bentley was still present and
correct. New host Brian Dowling was warm,
witty and watchable.
It felt like he’ d been doing the job years and
made a refreshing change from the jerky,
shouty faux -excitement of Davina McCall in the
later Channel 4 years.
Tonight’ s launch show might get decent ratings,
thanks to curiosity value. After watching the
underwhelming low- rent line- up, though, few
viewers are likely to stay. Big Brother might be
watching but most of us won’ t .

You got nipple problems as well?