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cathie Offline OP
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If anyone can give me some advice can you please pm for details.

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If you could give more details you may get more help wink
Change the names town?? mix it up a bit so we can help you.

Its a complicated area.

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cathie Offline OP
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My x has completely lied to me about everything for the past 5 months, telling me he's taking our son to one place when he hasn't he's been taking him somewhere else, I've also found out he's a prolific drug user...steroids (injecting) and coke & now he's threatening to take me to court as I won't let him see our son. I can't trust a word he says....basically. Where do I stand? What do I do? So far I'm waiting on him to make the first move

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Go to citizens advice if you are really worried, and some solicitors offer 1/2 hour or 1st meeting free, so you can get their view on it for nothing.

From what I can remember, if your ex wants to apply to court for contact he can. The judge will call you both in for a directions hearing and make directions as to the filing of statements of case, evidence, and give deadlines for when these things need to be filed. They may appoint a Cafcass officer to take statements from everyone (inc child if old enough) and review the situation before a final decision hearing is done (it can take months for this to come about). In this direction hearing the court will look to arrange some contact with your ex while waiting for final hearing date.

Him saying one place and taking another isn't nice, but not illegal. For the drugs, tell the judge he's a user, state unsupervised contact is inappropriate and suggested supervised contact at a centre as a start until he cleans up. Don't refuse access outright, offer alternatives, offer more if he sticks to contact times and cleans up. It could all balance on the magistrate/judge on the day but be seen as wanting to try and help HIM see HIS lad, but you also have to protect the child. If you call him a drug user he will probably say he isn't so recommend a drugs test. Be aware if you're wrong and he's clean it will look bad.

Does he pay CSA? Worth chucking in if he doesn't. Paints a picture of his parental responsibility, which is what you will have to do if you want the court to stop his contact. Courts will usually want to keep the contact in one form or another.


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Legal aid was abolished for child care cases on 1st April 2013 so these situations are going to be difficult.Unless he has money he may not be able to take you to court.However,if your ex has access granted through a court order you could be deemed in contempt of court so be very careful how you proceed.
If you cannot get anywhere legally, I suggest that you speak to social services or police.
Good luck it is a terrible situation for you.

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Contact the Central Advice and duty team at Social Services 0151 606 2006 and ask to speak with a childrens duty social worker. They will give you some advice xx

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Difficult situation. Advice to contact Social Services maybe a good option, but a GP suggested to a friend of mine, that once Social Services are involved, they will always be involved. So maybe advice from another scource first, might initially be a better option.

Not being contrary, just think Cathie should be aware .

Maybe a 'confidential' chat to her GP would be better.

The other thing is....will he really take you to court and put himself in jeopardy? I wonder!
You know all the facts Cathie, weigh it up, and think rationally . Just get everything organised in your mind and be one step ahead, if needed.

I assume you have custody, so you are in control.


Last edited by granny; 21st May 2013 12:06pm.

Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect.
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cathie Offline OP
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Thanks everyone, I have spoken to a solicitor who has said he doesn't have a leg to stand on especially given the drug use (which can be proven)

My main concern (apart from the drug use) is he is taking my son to loads of different "girlfriends" houses, what happens once he's split up with them and my son still wants to see them, he's only 3 and as far as he's concerned everyone is his friend. I don't have people in and out of his life so my x won't either, it's not fair on the child.

And no he doesn't pay anything, he doesn't declare his earnings.


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